Managing Conflict within your marriage

Below are some ideas for managing conflict within your marriage.

• Avoid arguing in front of children.  Save heated discussions for behind closed doors. Make a time to discuss problems when the children aren’t with you – for example, after bedtime, or when they’re at school or visiting grandparents.
• Let your children see you discussing issues in a constructive way.

• Be polite and take turns talking.
• Try to understand your partner’s feelings or perspective.
• Try to hear the positive in your partner’s message.
• Share your feelings with your partner.
• Brainstorm possible solutions.
• Even when you’re having problems in your marriage, keep a good relationship with your children.o   Do things with your children that they enjoy.
• Show them love and affection.  Give them a hug or a pat on the back.
• Tell them when they do things you like. Talk with your children about things that interest them and what they’re doing and feeling.
•  Be available – whenever possible, stop what you’re doing so you can help, listen or talk.
Be clear with your children that they’re not the cause of your disagreements.
• Let them know that the issues aren’t about them & that the two of you are working on solutions.
• Continue to spend positive time with your children – remind them that you love them.
• Encourage your partner to maintain a positive relationship with your children.
• Don’t feel you have to tell your children what the issue is. Some problems are for adult ears only.
Article taken from the Parenting Research Centre